we had to give buddy away. there were a variety of reasons, and not all of them needs to be explained or justified but i think it was for all the right reasons because we put ourselves in his shoes and realised that he needed a lot more than just shelter and food. hopefully he is in a happier place now.

i'm really proud of czeeyong though because i think it was harder for him more than anyone to give his dog away, who had slept in the same room as him for many many many months. and who spent the most time with him and training him. and he dealt with it super awesomely.

of course i was a baby and cried when we walked away from his new house with his new excited happy owners, but czeeyong said "don't cry please it will make me sad".

T_T

i never had to give away a dog before and it feels horrible.

and the dog isn't even mine.

so i don't know how czeeyong really feels about it. probably ten times worse.

sniff.

my friend asked me randomly during lecture today.

How would you feel if a friend of your boyfriend dared him to talk to this girl in return for free teh ais? And then proceeded to get her number, and hang out with her very often?

I told her I would dump my boyfriend if he did that. And then she told me that it is happening to her.

What is wrong with him? Sell himself for teh ais? Oh my god.

(this doesn't reflect my men-hating side it's just a general assumption that SOME men have a tendency to spread their seed around and do not give a rat's ass about the hearts they break along the way-gross)

i think there is nothing wrong with breaking up with your girlfriend if you do not love her anymore, or maybe falling in love with someone else. that's all fate. and breakups are never nice. it's a different matter altogether.

but sneaking around behind another person's back, and everything just screams disrespect and cowardice.

and i think that is something that needs to be said.

too often, girls cry and tell their girlfriends, and console themselves and maybe even justify things in their head in order to make the guy's actions seem more forgivable.

dude.

he doesn't even give a fuck.

too often the guy responds by rolling his eyes, and sighing inwardly and say "She's at it again. Why the fuck is she crying again?"

guess we'll never win the war simply by being the more emotional side.

this is what i want.

it's a bit like in the movies. but a girl can dream. someday i'd be able to turn boyfriend into a sunday brunch, or after hours drink kind of person who plays jenga with me while waiting for our drinks to arrive.

ah, but i'm a romantic at heart.

and god has a funny way of telling you no.

it's okay though i think i've learnt that somethings i don't get, other better things replace them.

here's what i look like with the new black rimmed contact lens they are free samples and i think they make my eyes look SO MUCH NICER. but when i asked czeeyong whether he realised anything was different he said, "huh but your eyes are always big." -_-

i swear i love my phone for the sole reason that it acts like a purikara machine. otherwise, i'd be seeing some horrifying pimply, dark,  and wrinkly version of me.

school is ending soon and i've been looking up jobs recently, polishing my resume, and writing up my cover letters, and making it seem like i am superwoman with a ton of achievements when in reality, i'm just a girl who has time to pluck ticks of her dog for three hours on a saturday afternoon.

they are really quite disgusting by the way, but i think of poor tiggr sleeping with a mountain of parasites sleeping with him and i continue hunting for them through a forest of fur -_-

speaking of dogs, this is xiao bai

with may here. she is SO cute, and mischievous, and a fiery ball of annoyedness if something doesn't go her way. feisty little monster is an apt term. (the dog, not may. Oh wait, on second thought... )

i love puppies they are so naturally curious at everything, and take a interest in every little speck of dust. if i was a puppy sitter, i'd be permanently happy.

wonder if that kind of job is available..

A long time ago, when you said those words, when you argued with me about people being happy at that age, I thought to myself, Yeah right, you'll change your mind within a year, you always do. It's not that i didn't agree then, i was doubtful that you would feel that way a few years down the road. and guess what, i'm right.

but the trouble with you is that you like to make all this grand plans, and then switch directions a year later, and end up breaking people's hearts, or leaving them in the dust.

you don't realise it but you've been doing that for four years now.

you don't realise it either but it's getting pretty difficult to live with that sort of attitude now.

because no matter how secure you would like me to be, you will always be unpredictable. and you will always be someone that deep down inside, that i'm not sure i can count on because once i learn to trust, then that's when you change your mind.

this is why i'm cynical. this is why it's hard to trust.

how do you believe someone when they were so sure a year ago, so very solid and firm in their belief that they were sure that NOTHING will ever change their minds, and a year later, their tune changes?

yesterday was pei kuan's birthday

we met up for a brief amount of time in KL when she was back but it was too short because I was swamped with assignments and I couldn't see her that often.

anyway, to that girl who likes to nag me to finish my homework ahead of time (yes mom, cough cough cough), a very very happy birthday to you