we grow up, but things don't change. people come and go, but a lot of things still remain the same. you've become a fine young lady, young laydee

i am pleased to inform you that i have gone from collapsing on the treadmill at 500m to running constantly at 2km, to 2.1km and yesterday, my own small little milestone has been achieved.

I have broken 2.5km.

Even though my minutes are kind of pathetic, and my distance is relatively small compared to a seasoned runner, i reckon for a noob i'm doing pretty okay.

goal of the month is to run constantly at 3km, in however much minutes it takes me to get there.

i much rather sleep but what to do. fat already.

Two weeks ago, I knew nothing about Bersih 2.0 nor its true cause. I was in mild support of Bersih1 rally 2007 only because of the true accounts of writers on the internet aka. zewt.blogspot.com and quaintly.net . What the mainstream media has painted all these years is a truly different picture.

I'm not exactly sure how Bersih 2.0 has sprung into all of our hearts and awakened a national consciousness. Over these two weeks, increasing threats from the government that had the utmost duty to protect its people including the police has actually helped Bersih 2.0 to gain support from civil citizens like you and me.

I'm not in favour of the opposition either.

But I am in the favour of free and fair elections.

What transpired on the 9th of July 2011 had rendered me heartbroken,so proud of my country and fellow citizens who marched for those who didn't (me included), angry and ashamed, and most importantly, hopeful of the future.

I am ashamed that I did not join the march. I am ashamed that I fit into the stereotype that Chinese people will just stay at home and watch Astro - because that is exactly what we did, my family and I. We watched at home as thousands of Malaysians walked the talk. My heart swelled in pride for these people, united regardless of creed and colour. Reading #bersihstories on twitter about how everyone helped each other made me so proud to be a Malaysian today.

Today is the first time in my life that I can actually say that I am proud to be Malaysian.

You don't have to be blind to know what's right and what's wrong. And for the ignorant, for every time that you complain that salaries in this country is not enough to feed your shopping habit, every time that you complain that snatch thefts are happening at every corner of the road, every time you bribe the police when you kena tahan, that is what Bersih2.0 is trying to solve. For better governance so that we would no longer have a country we are scared to live in.

In spite of Najib and his cronies, in spite of a tyrant government, in spite of a brutal police force, we the public, have a civic duty to uphold what's right.

for me, the greatest moment of pride was watching the public keep the peace. when senior citizens marched. when the disabled marched. when bersih supporters thanked police after the march. when they kept their word and dispersed peacefully at 4pm. when someone wanted to tear the patriot shirt and others stopped him from doing so, when they cleaned and picked up rubbish after the march to keep the streets clean, when they sang Negaraku with pride.

these are the stories that will never be reported by our local newspapers. but these are the ones that will always remain with us.

For me, it was a quietly proud moment to see my boyfriend, normally neutral, change into the colours of yellow on facebook and spreading links around doing his part "Since I didn't do anything or join the march, this is the least I can do".

If it's not too late, if there ever is a third rally, we will take part.

Czeeyong and I both registered as voters 6 months ago. I forgot the reason why. But yesterday and today strengthened my belief and civic duty as a resident of Malaysia to elect the right representative for my country when polling day arrives. You should too.

courage in spite of tyranny by malaysian police

i was just tired today.

haven't been feeling okay for the past few weeks because the nagging feeling that i don't matter as much to certain people anymore is biting at me.

i get that people have to move on from each other. friends, lovers, whoever. we cross paths once and move on to a different track. it's normal.

but when a party is more ready to move on than the other, it's always a little gut wrenching.

i think i was feeling a little sorry for myself today because i was feeling a little lonely.

and then it got a little better.

because czeeyong always makes sure im okay.

and then i received a call from my friend who hasn't really been around much for the past one and a half years. the fact that he still calls once in a while to say stupid things and to say hello makes me

...feel like i still matter. funnily enough.

once in a while,

i realise that

.

.

.

i'm incredibly lucky.

: - )

i missed this story about my flight home from melbourne.

in australia, people were a bit too kind on the customer service bit, always asking how's your day, how is the food, how is your lunch, what are you buying it for, that shirt is pretty i saw this other shirt would you like to see it? , are you buying that makeup for tonight?

it's a little too overwhelming for someone who is used to black faces and thank yous without looking at your face.

but after a little while i got used to it, really liking it even.

and then i came home.

to klia.

with two really heavy bags slung on each shoulder, complete with a sore foot.

walking really slowly, i hopped on to the skytrain taking me to the main terminal building. i spotted an empty bench at the other end of the sky train, so i walked over slowly to it.

while i was walking, i could hear people running outside the skytrain.

as i neared my bench, just literally a second away from planting my bum down, a posse of KLIA employees ran into the last door and sprinted to the bench and sat down. if i wasn't looking, i would have probably sat on his lap.

i just stared, dumbfounded, with my heavy bags and my sore foot growling in shock.

MAHAI.

malaysian hospitality.

i really wanted to go back to australia there and then.