big shoes to fill

and a world of inexperience

at times i really don't belong anywhere.

i get why people travel alone

because it's when they feel most themselves in their own skin

czeeyong asked me the other day if i could only do one kind of business what business would i do?

i think i would like to open a cosy little cafe. i am a sucker for cafes with a soul - cosy little holes in the wall, hidden finds, hot and cramped little nooks with the best coffee, and the most orgasmically delicious pastries. im thumbing my nose at you starbucks.

i am so pleased that malaysia's coffee culture has grown by leaps and bounds and having a good cup of coffee is not so alien anymore - once i only knew what starbucks and coffee bean were, but now, i've come to like whisk, the bread shop, haute cafe, espressamente and other not so well known places.

i am VERY thankful to melbourne and its great coffee culture for opening up my tastebuds Xp heck, they even had great coffee in uni itself which i regularly skip classes for with my cousin in the extreme cold of the morning.

and on a very unrelated note, my hair is driving me crazy. im not worried that my hair is too frizzy anymore- i'm quite literally BEGGING my hair to keep my curls. i think i am one of those unfornutate people whose hair is so sad that curls don't like to live there.

A week and a half ago, my hair was pretty to look at- reasonably wavy, and just the way i want it. don't wash it for two days, my hairdresser says. so i follow through and suffer the greasy goop that built up within 12 hours. it was flatter than flat flat on monday.

in a panic, because i paid a gazillion ringgit for him to work on my hair, i called my hairdresser and said desperately "MAH HAIR IS STRAIGHT! NOT CURLY" and the very very nice korean man asked me to come back on tuesday so he can redo it.

and he apologised profusely many times- which i don't think it was his fault anyway because i emphasized on saturday that i wanted LOOSE WAVES PLEASE DON'T MAGGIFY MY HAIR.

tip- no matter how worried you are about your potentially bad perm, it is always good to remember that the curls you get after a digital perm will loosen up after your first wash.

it's a cool place, this korean joint. i got a nice hand massage, a shoulder massage, coffee, tea, and a very very bad manicure for free.

emphasis on very very bad manicure.

after many many many many scheduling conflicts (im going to cebu then im not, im going to manila then im not, then im going for 5 days then im going for 3), i'm finally going to be in manila this week. i was supposed to be there on sunday night but my boss decided to offload me on even more work and stick with the million that i already have.

muchos gracias.

and my colleagues are so awesome that i really like working at this place- i think it is the only place where i feel that i belong. i usually have such a hard time trying to fit in, and being in a crazy chinese oriented place in my last job was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not the place where I belonged.

when i think back about how miserable i was but could not admit, i really really thank my lucky stars. my colleagues are weird and kooky and very liberal. they go out for lunch and buy The Pill and not get married at 30 and live with their boyfriends and chainsmoke like crazy but are all brilliant and super successful and very pleased with themselves. my supervisor sends me long long emails with super specific details about how i should NOT freak out if the cab driver in manila sends me past dodgy streets and it will take me approximately 25 minutes to reach the hotel at 5am int he morning and please call her when i get to the hotel. and knock like crazy if she doesn't pick up her phone. and she ends with an OK will stop motherlying you now. Bye.

this one time, i got so annoyed that this particular client was being super bitchy to me, and looking down at my youth (BAHAHA) and i figured maybe it was because i always dress like a kid, almost. so the next time i went to meet her and him, i piled on the big hair, and bitch face, and eye make up and high heels (so i can tower over her HAHAHA) and stomped to the meeting point. and was rewarded with a "o my you look so different." *thumbs nose at both of them*

ok i should stop and do my work now.

verbal diarrhoea.

I have a confession. My hair has never cost more than RM100 to maintain. Growing up, all I had was RM50 or less haircuts and to be very honest, till this day I still find it RIDICULOUS that hair salons in KL are charging so crazy prices just for hair.

My hair is so little and so straight that it's just.. there. So I've never really done anything with it except to curl it from time to time with my curling tongs. I've thought about a permanent curl for three years now and I still could not commit. And if hair takes such a long time for me to commit to, I wonder how long am I going to commit to marriage... *Snicker* But I leave that for another day.

ANYWAY, I've managed to book an appointment with this Korean hairstylist this weekend. I AM SO SCARED.

He barely speaks English and I barely understand him. I hope I don't miscommunicate and instead of him hearing me say "I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK LIKE ANNIE" he might have heard "PLEASE MAKE ME LOOK LIKE ANNIE"

Ohmilordy.

there's this wall near my work office, where I walk by nearly everyday, tempted.

it's a fairly clean wall, and i'm pretty sure anywhere else other than hartamas where i work would be sullied with scribblings and lewd phone numbers and graffiti.

It's still really REALLY tempting though.

Every single time I walk past it, Barney's voice comes into my head.

can some one please please make my day by drawing something beneath this sign.

it can't be me because I still want free parking behind this owner's shop.

but i'll loan you a marker. this wall is just begging to be scribbled on, it's positively crying for help.

it's been a while since i have a weekend with my family. i really missed that so it was good thati had some time with them this weekend. yesterday was spent shopping with my sisters and having a good meal, and then later a night at a family reunion.

this is the part where i hate the most.

somehow one extended family always has one horribly ignorant, tactless and conceited person who pries and loves to tell you what you are doing wrong in your family.

there is one particular lady who always asks in a sickly sweet tone, to Jean, my cousin whether she has done housework lately.

She asks this every single time she sees her. It was hard to believe at first, because all the while I;ve only heard stories from Jean complaining about this aunty barging into her house just to ask her that question.

She asked the same question and Jean just answered "yeah" nicely while digging her fingernails into my thighs.

So I piped up, "What. She is always doing the housework wan lah."

Aunty says with great surprise, "Oh is it???"

"ya lah. Every time I go over, she's the one that is doing the housework," I said truthfully.

It is true. Jean is one of the most OCD people I have ever known. And I say this while rolling my eyes, Jean. =p

She files her notes accordingly, and painfully sticks hole protectors in each punchole of every paper. CRAZY I TELL YOU.

However, after my defense of Jean, aunty only had this to say.

"So how bout Joan leh? Is she doing the housework or not?"

We never win.